He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
