Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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