Plan B is the new Plan A
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
