he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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