Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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