I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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