Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
