Apparently you make a good broom.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
