im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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