So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
