I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
