Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We left the knife in your bed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
