ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
