Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
