You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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