So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
