I feel like abortions should bother me more
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
