Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
sex in a hospital.. check
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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