Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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