It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
