wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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