Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
