An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
