I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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