Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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