oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
