I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
