I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
