you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
