I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
