I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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