guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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