So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
