im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
NoShamevember. You game?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
