This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
