The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
