smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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