omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
