Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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