someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
