At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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