I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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