just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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