so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
