well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is wine microwaveable?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
