I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
