if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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