I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
