i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
