So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
