Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
